I’m nervous about this blog. I want to be open about being autistic when asked, but when asked I know who’s asking and how they’re likely to react. In a perfect world that wouldn’t be a problem, and I could be open about it to everyone, but our current world still has a lot of prejudice… and despite being exactly the same person as before disclosing, I might still be treated differently.
It’s not that I think I pass so well for neurotypical – with the amount I’m called “shy”, “aloof”, etc, clearly I’m not (because I’m not shy… really). But I’m worried that once people know I’m autistic, they’ll just start to see stereotypes. That I’ll be written off, limited by what other people think my limits are. I’m worried most about this in the context of work, which makes my posting this un-anonymously, here, a big deal.
It’s not that I have such a low opinion of people that I think this will happen often, but the fact that it’s a possibility makes me… nervous. I want to be open about this. I want to write about what I’ve learned about myself and how this (relatively) new diagnosis of ASD fits into my life. I want to write up neurodivergent work tips, travel tips. And I’ll likely post about my difficulties here too. But I need to get over this first bump of anxiety about disclosure.
So here I am, starting off 2016 by telling the world I’m autistic.